depression leads to reality

ok not many people would know this, because its not really an obvious thing. i have depression. usually i dont like to label things like that but ive come to realise that its true. i think when people say that depression is all in the mind in a way theyre being truthful, but not in the way they think. i really do think depression is a disease, and one that is really hard to overcome. with diseases like cancer and things like that you can get medication, and stuff like that to get better. but depression is a little difficult. there is medication like anti-depressants but truthfully having been through having the medication... they dont really do all that much. theyre like a bandaid kind of thing. they patch it up until you can deal with it. dont get me wrong going on them last year was the best thing i did. i dont know how i woulda coped without them. but now... especially with uni i cant do it.
anyway. what i was getting around to, is that yesterday i think i got to the lowest a person should go... i didnt get out of bed all day, i drank (stuff what people say drinking sometimes helps!!) and i think i slept more in one day then i have in months... mainly to get my mind away from everything.
talking to a lady that comes in to work often bec, i realised one thing. that most things take one year to truely move on from. and most of my "issues" are from this time last year. so even though it really hurts to remember them, i think i can offically move on from them. the insecurities i feel with dave will always be there, i think he's insane to be with me. that im pretty messed up person, and always will be. but i love him to bits and i couldnt imagine if i lost him. telling bec about him she recons im so lucky to have such a wonderful guy (a rare thing she says)
anyway enough rambling for today my minds about to burst.


i will never drink again urghhhh